Why Men Cheat: Some Facts About Male Infidelity

Have you always wondered why men cheat? We have collected the most common reasons that will help you better understand the psychology of male infidelity. Contrary to popular belief, it is not always a thirst for novelty and a desire to have sex with someone other than a boring wife.

Some statistics

The first statistical study on cheating was conducted in 1953 by American biologist and sexologist Alfred Kinsey. According to its results, 50% of men and 26% of women had extramarital affairs. In 1987, Shire Hite conducted a similar study. This time, 75% of men and 70% of women admitted to cheating. At the same time, 55% of men indicated sexual dissatisfaction as the main reason, and 16% - the desire to take revenge or act out of spite against their regular partner. 34% of respondents believed that falling in love or strong feelings can be a good reason for male cheating. Almost 50% of the cheaters surveyed regretted their actions at least once.

According to the results of modern independent research, 52% of men have cheated or are cheating on their regular partners at least once. Approximately 48% of married men cheat on their wives while in an official marriage. Also you can watch the Porn Chat.

Another tendency is that people usually underestimate the likelihood that cheating will happen in their particular relationship. The common cognitive distortion “It definitely won’t happen to me” comes into play.

What is cheating from a psychological point of view

Psychologists view infidelity as both a cause of relationship problems and a reaction to them. Generally speaking, infidelity is a violation of agreements in a couple, which invariably leads to a loss of trust. It is important to understand that agreements can be different, depending on the format of the relationship, as well as the life values ​​of both partners. Accordingly, the fact of infidelity in different families can be understood not only as sexual relations on the side, but also as other actions that violate existing agreements.

For example, a couple has agreed to be in an open relationship. By mutual consent, sex with other people is acceptable from time to time. However, secret love affairs of one partner are already cheating and unacceptable behavior for the other.

From a psychological point of view, cheating most often occurs when a person splits their own image and the image of their partner into “good” and “bad”. This is a natural defense mechanism of the psyche, which finds it difficult to accept the fact that the same object/phenomenon can be both good and bad. In the case of cheating, life and relationships within and outside the couple are split into positive and negative images. In the person’s consciousness, different images of themselves (“I”) arise next to their spouse and lover. At the same time, they endow the images with polar qualities.

1. It's boring with a wife, but interesting with a mistress.
2. The husband is not interesting as a man, but the lover is sexual.

Sometimes the unfaithful partner unconsciously tries to form a triangle that will indirectly preserve the relationship in the couple. In this case, cheating is a way for him to preserve the existing relationship without entering into an open confrontation with his regular partner and without changing anything.

In some cases, the cause of infidelity is the sexual complex of Madonna and whore, first described by Sigmund Freud. This is a typical example of splitting, in which a person is unable to experience sexual desires towards the partner he loves.

For example, a man may not feel any sexual attraction to his wife as his beloved woman and mother of his children. In his eyes, she is a "saint" and receives tenderness, care, and respect. In turn, he unconsciously considers his mistress a "fallen woman." For him, she is unworthy of such feelings as a wife, but she arouses strong sexual desire.

What is loyalty

Psychology views fidelity as a composite mental-volitional phenomenon. From a moral and ethical point of view, marital fidelity is usually viewed more broadly than simply preventing male or female infidelity. In a broader sense, it is also mutual care, respect, trust, subordination of one's behavior to common goals and interests. This is not a given, but an active, motivated decision-making process. Accordingly, it requires meaningful reactions from a person, as well as purposeful control of behavior and one's actions.

Reasons for male infidelity

It may seem to some that men cheat mainly in problematic relationships, and the only reason for cheating is unsatisfied sexual needs. In fact, this is not so. Often men have mistresses in stable and, at first glance, happy relationships. And the true reasons for male infidelity go far beyond the lack of sex or uncontrollable libido.

In May 1985, a scientific journal published an article with the results of research on the topic of marital infidelity. 56% of unfaithful spouses called their marriage “happy” and “very happy.”

Social factors

Influence of the environment

Considering that a person is a social being, the opinion of others often influences his love relationships and sexual life. In particular, men tend to cheat under the influence of friends and social groups they are part of. This distinguishes them from women, who very rarely cheat on their loved ones, their motivation being “all my friends do it”.

Consumer culture

Modern consumer culture (in particular, advertising) often leads to thoughts of adultery. In a consumer society, many needs and desires are imposed from the outside, and universal human values ​​are increasingly becoming a subject of bargaining. The idea that the highest value in life is pleasure is systematically introduced into people's consciousness. And the only right decision is to live by your desires, without thinking about the consequences.

Need to confirm status

Some men admit that beautiful young mistresses are the same indicator of high social status for them as the latest iPhone model and an expensive car. Often, this hierarchy also includes a caring wife, children and a cozy home. For this reason, the cheater does not seek to leave the family, having one or more permanent mistresses who confirm his status and raise his self-esteem.

Availability of alternatives

Just a couple of decades ago, there were few options for finding new partners. Modern technology has made this process much easier. Social networks, dating sites, and dating apps allow you to make new connections without literally leaving your smartphone screen.

Physiological aspects

Hormones and Biology

One of the reasons for cheating is hidden in male physiology. According to scientists, the concept of monogamy did not exist in primitive society, and common children were raised by the joint efforts of the entire tribe. Monogamous marriage appeared in the era of civilization, but physiological features often make themselves known even today. Men's behavior is largely influenced by the action of testosterone and other hormones, which increase libido and increase the desire for dominance.

Striving for diversity

From the point of view of the theory of genetic diversity, the instinctive desire to change sexual partners arises as an evolutionary mechanism for obtaining more numerous and healthy offspring. However, the desire for diversity in modern society is more likely associated with the search for emotional sensations, the desire to confirm one's significance and attractiveness. At the same time, such behavior may have evolutionary prerequisites.

Psychological factors

Low self-esteem

One of the psychological reasons why men cheat is self-esteem issues. By maintaining relationships with several women at the same time, a man with low self-esteem asserts himself. Often, this is the only way to look like an “alpha male” and a “real man” in the eyes of his social circle and his own.

Fear of emotional intimacy

Avoidant attachment style is a behavior pattern in which a person is afraid to get close to others (including a regular partner). Such people experience serious problems in building emotionally close relationships. And the sexual need for them is often satisfied through casual relationships.

Boredom and routine